


Don't Let Go

by 185cmbaekhyun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Optional Smut, Rimming, Smut, Top Oh Sehun, and jongin is too emo, i'm sorry if this is too angst, just sekai avoiding the hell out of each other, mlb event
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-14 13:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14136996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/185cmbaekhyun/pseuds/185cmbaekhyun
Summary: Jongin is now avoiding Sehun like the plague, and he doesn't know what to do to fix it.Having to attend an event in Hong Kong together, things get even more evident as they can't even stand near each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was reviewed by myself, so I apologise for any mistakes.

It's only day 2 when they realize something is off between the maknaes. 

Upon entering the room of their weekly meetings, Sehun is, as usual, greeted with warm smiles and a bear hug from Baekhyun. Even the manager hyungs always light up when Sehun is around. Chanyeol ruffles his hair, while Junmyeon throws an arm around his shoulder, and like this they go through their routine by discussing both their individual and group schedules. Sitting across from him, Jongin avoids making eye contact, and as much as sehun tries, the older one just can't look towards him.

 

Quiet the entire time, Jongin's been pouting, sleepy eyes barely open, half his face buried into his turtleneck, so Sehun gives him this excuse for being ignored. He refuses to believe it is related to what happened a couple of nights ago. Sleepy Jongin can be thoughtless like that. Sehun thinks to himself, deep down wishing that Jongin must be sleepy ever since that ~ incident, for having reacted the way he did.

 

When they call it a day with the meeting, Jongin is the first to stand up, quickly making his way to the exit. His gaze is down to the floor the entire time, hands hidden in the pockets of his jeans, shoes dragging on the floor and almost slipping out of his sockless feet. Sehun pathetically tries to follow, hand reaching out to touch, but Jongin is fast and basically a pro at shutting himself down in situations like this.

 

Sehun sighs and scowls, realizing how stupid he must look standing there watching Jongin leave without throwing him a glance behind. Kim Jongin is one brave young man for treating him this way.

 

“Oh no. I think the maknaes are fighting.” Baekhyun announces, loud to the room and Sehun sighs again. Byun Baekhyun always notices, he's always lurking. “Minseok hyung, do something. Talk to them babies.” He suggests playfully, but Minseok side eyes him.

 

“Why me? That's not my business,” Says the oldest, dodging that kind of responsibility. “Junmyeon, that's on you.” 

 

“Never mind, we didn't fight,” Sehun cuts in, before the meeting turns into a disaster on how to make Sekai make up. He notices the way Junmyeon worriedly stares at him, so he just shrugs, offering a forced smile that never reaches his eyes.

 

“He’s just not sleeping well these days and I wanted to check on him, that's all.” He lies, hoping that God and his hyungs and the universe will forgive him for this one. He hates lying, but right now, that's all he can do. 

 

The members are still staring at him, multiple expressions on their faces, Sehun can't read them all. He just feels embarrassed, and for the first time since the incident he starts to freak out a little. What if he fucked up this time? What if Jongin truly hates him now? What had changed between them? 

 

“Sehun is right. It's okay, I'll check on him on my way out.” Kyungsoo says, probably the only one in the room not curious about the matter. Sehun mentally thanks him for saving him from further lies and embarrassment, but the glare he receives from kyungsoo when their eyes meet for a brief second, a real angry glare that burns him, tells that there's something Sehun’s mind can't grasp, and tears threaten to escape. 

 

“Let's get going, guys. We have a busy day ahead.” Junmyeon orders, and finally, everyone starts leaving their seats, drifting their attention to something else. However, anxiety has made his way home in Sehun's chest, so he follows Kyungsoo out. 

 

“Is he really okay? Hyung, do you know? Do you know what's wrong?” Sehun asks quietly, tagging along like a puppy.

 

“He's fine. But I think you should talk to him some time. Or try to, at least.” Advises the small one, walking towards the exit absentmindedly. If Kyungsoo is saying it, then Sehun should do so. 

 

“Okay, thank you hyung. You know, whatever it is, he'll come to me soon. He can't go too long without me anyway.” He brags about it, feeling his heart slowly getting back to being at peace. There's a genuine smile on his face now. 

 

Biting his lip, Kyungsoo finally looks to him with his big round eyes “I'm not sure… I wouldn't be so confident this time” it's all he says before nodding courteously and taking off, leaving the maknae in a pool of questions and worries. 

 

Sehun calls him five times. Jongin doesn't pick up once. 

  
  
  
  


At practice a few days later Jongin is back at being his usual self. He laughs loud and dumbly with the others, he whines about pointless things, make them repeat unsync moves until they are all in perfect sync. It makes Sehun's heart flutter seeing him shining so brightly even though he's wearing casual clothes, sweating and breathless. Nothing can compare to Jongin's beauty when he smiles. 

 

Sadly, none of those smiles are aimed at Sehun. Again, he tries to catch Jongin's gaze through the mirror, like they usually do during dance practice. He fails, his eyes totally focused on Jongin only, searching for that smile, for those dimples that he misses seeing. Kasper scolds him a few times for missing some moves. Jongdae hugs his waist from behind and asks him if he's okay, if he needs some time off. Sehun takes a deep breath and says he's okay, just a little distracted at the time. He doesn't know anymore if he's okay, but he knows the thing distracting him is Jongin and his coldness. 

 

“I'm still messing up on Boomerang. You guys can go home, I'll stay for a while more.” Sehun mumbles when practice is over. This would be the cue for Jongin to chime in and offer to stay with him. But Jongin keeps silent and grabs his stuff to leave. 

 

Many nights the two of them would spend hours dancing there, repeatedly, until they would be both exhausted. All of those nights were Sehun's favorite, having fun together and listening to his dumb laugh, giving directions to each other on how to perfect their choreographies. Having new ideas for future ones. Just mindlessly joking around.  

 

It's only been about a week, and Sehun insanely misses Jongin. It feels like there's a part of him missing, leaving him with a deep black hole inside his body.

 

“Are you still not talking to me?” He asks, once he corners Jongin by the door. It's easy to do, Jongin is just smaller compared to him. He teases him about it all the time, but the look on Jongin's eyes indicates it's no time for teasing. 

 

The others pass by, suspicious looks being shared among them, but Sehun doesn't care. He’s got Jongin trapped between the door frame and his chest, he's also got the blush painting Jongin's cheeks, and that way he knows he still has chances to make it all right again. 

 

“Sehun…” Jongin mutters, making Sehun's heart skip two beats by hearing his name leaving Jongin's mouth so desperately. “ It's late and I'm tired, okay? Just move and let me go.” He sounds annoyed now, brown eyes glistening with some emotion Sehun can't decode. He then takes two steps away, his heart is pounding so hard he thinks everyone still in the room can heart it. 

 

“Okay. Cool. But this is getting too much. If you don't talk to me again I'll just ignore you too.” He doesn't mean to say that, but that's what comes out of his mouth either way. 

 

“Wouldn't be the first time you ignore something about me.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Jongin intentionally bumps into his shoulder as he leaves.

 

Sehun spends the night alone, dancing his problems away. Everytime he looks in the mirror and doesn't see Jongin dancing by his side, he misses a move. His mind races trying to solve what Jongin meant by his words. What had he ignored before? What was he missing?

 

In the end, he still can't get the choreography right. Or his thoughts, for that matter.

  
  


It's 5 am when Sehun is getting ready to leave. Everyone is still asleep, the dorm is quiet and the day still rising outside. He goes into the kitchen to grab something to bite on his way to the school. He's not expecting meeting Jongin there, standing in front of the refrigerator, mind lost in thought. 

 

“Oh… you… did you just get home?” Sehun asks noticing Jongin's fresh washed hair and neat clothes.  

 

Three seconds a little too late, Jongin finally replies “I'm going to go out in a bit. Filming has started”

 

“Oh yeah… I see…” Sehun wants to ask more, if he's enjoying it, who's he meeting lately, what's he been learning about. But he knows he's not allowed ask now. If things were at least a little okay between them he would know Jongin would be filming already. 

 

“Why are you up so early?” Jongin asks, and he seems interested enough to give Sehun the tiniest hope. 

 

“I'm going to the martial arts school.” 

 

A smile stretches over Jongin's features as he involuntary takes a step closer. His dimples on display make Sehun's heart jump so he smiles back, cheeks blushing just as much as Jongin's.

 

“How's it?” 

 

“It's fine, my skills are a little rusky but I'm still quite good at it. They've been beating my ass up, though.” Sehun jokes, he somehow feels shy talking about it, or maybe it's just Jongin's gaze fixed on him. 

 

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Worried, Jongin slides even closer and cups his cheek. He examines Sehun's face closely, looking for any wounds. 

 

There's a heavy pause as they stare deeply into each other's eyes. It's the first time in weeks that Jongin is touching him and he feels like he's floating, like his insides are burning. Plushy lips draw his attention as he licks his own thin ones. If he leans down just a little, he could capture Jongin's lips and feel the taste that he so much longs for.

 

“It depends,” He whispers instead. Jongin gets the hint right away. Sehun might not be physically hurting, but his heart has been bleeding nonetheless. 

 

“Never mind. I gotta go.” letting go of his hold on Sehun's face, Jongin steps away. For a second he looks lost, confused. Not knowing where to go or where to look. That's when Sehun gathers up the courage to ask.

 

“Are you upset because I kissed you that night?”

 

He sees Jongin wincing, and he steps further away, head miserably down. It's out there now. Sehun needs to hear it now. He needs to be dumped once and for all so he can move on. Even though he knows he won't. 

 

“Come on, it wasn't even our first kiss. We've done a lot more than that before.” He reminds Jongin, moving closer. 

 

“Just… it's not that. It's…” Jongin stutters, nervously pulling at his own hair, like he tends to do when he feels frustrated. Sehun doesn't think twice, and once again he has the older one trapped against the sink. Their noses almost touching, breath mixing with one another's.

 

“So did you hate all the other times we did it?” His voice is quiet, almost inaudible, but he notices the way Jongin shivers from head to toe.  “Didn't seem so when you were under me moaning my name,” 

 

“I didn't. I didn't hate any of it. I just…” Jongin is short of breath, closing his eyes. His hands are firmly grasping at the sink as he stiffly avoids Sehun's eyes. The kitchen feels hot, too hot. So does Jongin's body. 

 

“We'd promised to not do it again. A long time ago, remember?” He says, eyes finally meeting the young man standing tall in front of him. Sehun does remember that, the thing is, he thinks it's stupid. If they both want it, they should get it. He's about to voice that when Jongin proceeds.

 

“Why did you have to do it as if it meant nothing?”

 

At that, Sehun moves away. He carefully studies Jongin's face and reads too much into his features. Especially, insecurities. It meant to him. With Jongin it always means something. Means everything. He wants to say those words exactly, but...

 

“I… it was just one kiss. What's so wrong about it? I don't regret it. I would do it again.”

 

He leans in again, his lips once again hovering over Jongin's as he nuzzles the side of his cheek. 

 

“You want it too, I know it,” Sehun whispers, being reward with the trembling from Jongin's whole body. 

 

“No, please. Not like that.” shoving him away, Jongin gets free but his feet are still rooted in place. Sehun gives him space, and even some time to recover. But he still wants to know, he wants to understand. 

 

“Why? Are you seeing someone else again?” He asks, dreading the answer.

 

“No, I am not… Aish. You're so dense sometimes!” Jongin finally gets his bearings and moves away from the sink. Noticing he's making his way out, Sehun tries one more time. He doesn't know when they'll have the chance to talk it out like this.

 

“Do you want me to say sorry and pretend it never happened? Because I can't do that.”

 

“Me neither,” Jongin says, slowly “But I also can't do it like this” And he leaves. Again. Tears emerge. Again. Sehun's mind is at a loss. Again.

 

There's nothing he can think of doing now to fix this, so he just watches, for the millionth time, Jongin walking away.

  
  
  


They have a photoshoot as a group for MLB the very next day. They let them know there'll be a launch event for their accessories, ones that they have been designing together for a while now. Chanyeol, Jongin and Sehun are the ones selected to do it, and it makes sense. They've been wanting to test those waters with the three of them for a while, and the response from the fans are all positive. They are even given a cool name. SKY. Ironically, they are far from sky or heaven or anything peaceful. 

 

“You better fix this shit before the event. Aeris notice these stuff, you know,” Chanyeol warns him. He hates this situation just as much as Sehun, but the maknae is lost and confused and his hopes are slowly fading. He fears he'll get kicked out of the group if he doesn't find a way to fix all of this. He knows it's all his fault, he just doesn't know what it is. 

 

“Hyung, I still can ask them to change it. Send minseok hyung in my place. He sells out more than anyone. He’s cute. He speaks well. He doesn't fuck up with Jongin and ruins the group’s image.”

 

Chanyeol rolls his eyes so hard his head drops back. The result is his cap falling off and him tripping over it. Although Sehun wants to laugh, he feels very much like that cap. Stepped over and ruined and bruised.

 

“Stop this bullshit. The three of us are going. Exo’s Sky. The tall ones. Minseok is not tall enough to appear on the pictures if he comes with us.” Chanyeol laughs loud, after making sure Minseok is not around to hear. “Just… you still have time. Talk this out, do something nice for him.”

 

“You should suck his dick,” Baekhyun suggests, suddenly appearing behind Chanyeol's big frame. “I can't believe you two are still on this. It's so easy to solve.” 

 

“Is that why you two never fight?” Sehun asks annoyed, making Baekhyun giggle and blush at the same time. 

 

“That's why I never fight with anyone, kid.” He yells, running away before they can fully get his words. 

 

The photoshoot goes well for most parts. Until the photographers request sekai to sit next to each other. The initial idea is to make them interact in some cool way, making sekai stand out the most. There's good chemistry, you two are the most experienced in this, says the team of photographers, and before the maknaes make it obvious that they're not on good terms, Kyungsoo interferes.

 

“Can we maybe not do this? We'll look cooler if we just don't give a dump about each other.” It makes the whole staff laugh, so they go with that. Sehun needs to remind himself to thank his beloved hyung later for saving his stupid ass lately. He's probably doing it for Jongin only, nevertheless, Sehun is still thankful.

 

The day just gets tougher as they start on their individual shoots. Usually Sehun would stay and watch, or more, drool over Jongin. With others he would give the excuse to be needed around for giving tips on how to pose. Jongin doesn't need any tips, seeing as he's the best in his field. He's a better model than Sehun can ever be. So this time, he doesn't stay. 

 

During his individual shoot, Sehun doesn't focus on his surroundings, knowing that Jongin will also probably not be around to watch and cheer for him. Instead, he distracts his mind the best way he can, barely listening to the praises he usually gets for his looks. It all goes fast and simple. Just like he's used to. 

 

When the staff announces break time to switch members, Sehun receives more praises for his good job. It's only when he's on his way out that he notices Jongin from afar, watching quietly. Eyes widened as if he was hypnotized. Once their eyes meet from across the room, Jongin blushes and looks down. 

 

In any other situation, Sehun would brag about men so easily falling for him. He’s used to receiving that kind of dumbfounded gaze, he quite likes it, honestly. The truth is, no other man matters more than knowing Kim Jongin is still enamored with him in some way, that he still looks at him with so many raw emotions, even when he won't let himself near Sehun again.

 

When Sehun looks for him again, Jongin is already out of sight, but never once out of his mind.  

  
  
  


“You are my favorite dongsaeng. The prettiest in this world.” Jongdae indulges, passing him a cup of chocolate bubble tea. Sehun ponders for a second, before accepting the bubble tea with suspicious eyes. 

 

“What's this about?”

 

“Just a good hyung taking care of his little brother. I notice stuff. You're not okay these days.” Jongdae affirms, looking even tinier than usual, wrapped in a huge black coat. Only his cute cheeks and cat smile are visible. 

 

“Don't worry about me, hyung. I'm fine;” Sehun lies, once again. To Jongdae of all people, the one who can read him better than anyone. 

 

“Ah, seriously. You're making me feel like a liar. I keep telling people EXO don't fight, yet you and Jongin can't even stay in the same room;” Jongdae whines, slurping his own strawberry and banana drink. 

 

“It's not me, it's him. I'm trying my best, but he keeps pushing me away.” Sehun sighs, watching the snowflakes smoothly hitting the window of the coffee shop. It's a cold night, would have been a lonely one too, if it wasn't for Jongdae constant pleads for a sudden coffee shop date.

 

“You know how Kai is, right? He shuts down, he runs away, probably because he wants it all. You know what I'm saying?”

 

Sehun does not have a clue.

 

“No?” 

 

“Aigoo… he's definitely just expecting something serious from you, it's what I mean. He wants honesty, the real thing.” Jongdae explains, and honestly, it's not so difficult to understand, but still Sehun feels as if he's on a dead end street. Or a maze. Any place without an easy exit. Because he can't see one. 

 

He goes silent. His mind feels tired from overthinking. He feels like an idiot. Or maybe… he just doesn't want to admit what the problem is. He needs to confess. But can he actually get the courage to do it?

 

“It's ok, really. Things like that are so complicated for people like us” Jongdae goes on. “l mean, with our lifestyle. It's definitely not as easy as it is for others, but I'm sure you two can work something out.”

 

Jongdae surely knows what he's talking about. He's been in relationships before. He's probably the most mature and experienced hyung Sehun has. In that moment, Sehun really wants to hug him tightly. Jongdae has been having the busiest schedule lately preparing for a cbx comeback. And yet he still made time just to make sure Sehun was okay and buy him bubble tea. 

 

“Soon it'll all be alright, trust me.” Jongdae pats his shoulder and buys him more chocolate as they spend some more time there, chatting and laughing, forgetting about any type of problem they currently have. For once, It feels nice. 

 

“Thank you hyung. I love you.” Sehun says once they're leaving. To Jongdae those words come out naturally, they don't hold anything more meaningful than they need to be. 

 

“Do I at least get a hug?” He jokes, spreading his arms at the younger one. “Come on, hug it out!”

 

Shoving him off, Sehun notices some girls standing close by, cellphones in their hands. They're giggling and pointing. It is always like this. Sehun doesn't even mind anymore. Doesn't mean he needs to stay as they invade their space. 

 

“They're looking, come on. I'll hug if you can keep up.” Sehun turns around and walks off, Jongdae following suit as he yells.

 

“Aahh wait. I can't keep up with your long ass legs!”

 

Sehun hugs Jongdae as soon as they enter home.

  
  
  


That night he climbs into Junmyeon's bed and demands cuddles. Although the leader is obviously tired and about to doze off, he doesn't reject his maknae and welcomes him in his arm smiling sweetly. 

 

“You can kick me out of the group, hyung. I deserve it.”

 

“I can't lose my best member. Our pretty maknae,” Junmyeon coos, fingers running through Sehun's silky dark hair. The young man curls up in a ball into the leader. 

 

Comfortable silence is shared between them, and Sehun thinks that maybe, one day, if he comes to lose everything, he'll never lose his hyungs. 

 

“You haven't told me exactly what happened.” Junmyeon mutters, his eyes are already half closed, but Sehun knows he's listening. Will listen even if Sehun talks for days. 

 

“Well… ever since we got separate rooms, Jongin was spending nights with me,” He starts, reminiscing those nights spent together. They were pure and full of meaningful conversations. Jongin looked beautiful and soft in each one of them.

 

“Were you…?” Junmyeon makes a weird gesture with his hands, causing Sehun's scoff. 

 

“No. That's the thing. We were getting even closer. But none of those things were happening. We've decided on it a long time ago. Not to fool around and hook up like that anymore.  Because our friendship is more important.” 

 

“So, you both decided on that?” The questions makes something sting in his heart. If Sehun really does remember that moment, he knows the answer. 

 

He remembers feeling he was falling too hard, he remembers debating with himself how risky to their careers that could be, if he'd be able to keep his feelings hidden from the world if they got even stronger. However, what he remembers the most is Jongin's sad eyes and weak smile as he said he had agreed on it. 

 

“It was my idea. It was on me,” He replies, voice cracking. “I guess I fucked up from that.” He lets out a desperate sound from the back of his throat. 

 

“Maybe Jongin wasn't on the same page, but agreed anyway to make you happy. Maybe he thought he had moved on and being kissed again messed him up. Maybe he thinks you only see him like a booty call.”

 

Listening carefully, Sehun feels as if he can finally see the light to end his darkness. It makes so much sense now that he feels embarrassed for being so slow with this sort of stuff. Who would have thought Junmyeon held the answers he was looking for? He's simply amazing. 

 

“He should have just talked to me, why did he have to make it so hard for me?” Sehun asks, frustrated. 

 

“I guess feelings are just complicated like that” Junmyeon shrugs “Regardless of anything, you shouldn't let what you and Nini have go. You two have a great connection, you just need more communication.” 

 

“Wow hyung, you're so cool talking like that. I'm almost falling for you.” Sehun tightens his hold around him, both of them laughing casually as they find a more comfortable position on the bed.

 

“I'm surprised you haven't fallen for me, I've been trying so hard” Junmyeon says playfully, ruffling the younger’s hair.

 

It doesn't take long until both of them fall asleep. That night, Sehun dreams he's embraced with a different man, one with plushy lips and smooth golden skin.

  
  
  
  


Days pass by and it gets harder to get in touch with Jongin. He's busy filming for his upcoming drama. On his free time, he spends at his sister's place. At practice, he keeps on avoiding Sehun. 

 

Not wanting to seem too desperate, Sehun gives him time and space, hoping that eventually Jongin will miss him too and come to him. He doesn't come. 

 

Sehun still spends extra time practicing on his own. Jongin never stays. Nights when he can't sleep, most of them, he watches random movies and dramas. Everything reminds him of Jongin. From a random actor's dimple, to Jongin's favorite color on a certain object. He invites his other hyungs to play video games. Some of them decline, claiming to be too tired. Others join him for a while, but none of them suck at it and lose repeatedly like Jongin. None of them pout and whine when they get teased about losing. None of them fall asleep against his chest either. 

 

Locking himself in his private practice room, Sehun decides to go live on Instagram. Baekhyun has told him when he feels lonely or bored, he spends time interacting with aeris. Even if sometimes things don't go as well as planned, aeris are the best to make them feel better. Sehun agrees, but on the other hand, he knows he's not as good at it as Baekhyun. He turns it on anyway. 

 

He has no idea what to do.

 

Reading comments is useless. Most of them are just demanding him to speak English, or asking for Luhan. He ignores those and decides to play Junmyeon's new tracks.

 

The lyrics hit home, but he doesn't turn it off. Maybe they won't notice his eyes tearing up, if they do, at this point he doesn't care. He tries to light things up with something more upbeat and plays another song he likes. He gives up on playing his own song "Go", fearing that they'll not enjoy it too much without him standing up to dance and strip. He recommends a movie, one that made him feel  slightly better after watching. Lastly, he makes the mistake of reading comments again.

 

_ Where is Jongin. Did you two break up? _

 

_ Please I need more sekai interactions :( :(  _

 

Quickly but casually, he says goodbye to his aeris and turns the live off. Curiosity gets the best of him and he decides to do some research. He knows where to look, and what to avoid not to read the most negative comments. He constantly reads those too, but tonight, he's looking for something else. He types SEKAI on the search bar and hits enter. Most of the comments are in English, but he tries to read what his knowledge in the language allows him to. He finds a good sekai page and the situation seems angstier than he expected.

 

_ @oursekai _

__ “I miss sekai so much, sometimes I think they purposely avoid each other” _ _

__

 

_ “They haven't interacted in so long. I miss them so much. I hope they are okay” _

 

Other comments from followers sound more violent.

 

@sekaimyloves

“ _ Sekai is DEAD I AM SO THIRSTY FOR THEM” _

 

_ @ohmayasehun _

_ “They broke up lmao” _

 

_ @sehuntops _

_ “WHEB WILL THEY RETURN DROM WAR WHY DO THEY HATE EACH ITHER NOW??????” _

 

_ @ksooschestnuts _

_ “Who cares about s*Kai. Kaisoo is real :)” _

 

That's the furthest he can go on those comments without feeling too dizzy. God, the President and the entire universe have noticed. Soon articles about EXO actually hating each other will hit. Sehun fake sobs, until real sobs start to escape from him. 

 

The message he types out to Jongin is the last thing he does before turning his phone off along with his mind.

 

_ “I know you hate me right now, but I miss you, dumbass”  _

 

Jongin leaves him on read.

  
  


Elyxion in Thailand is promising. All  of them missed the place and the fans. Their concerts there are usually one of the most excitings. And this is the goal for the night. Have fun and give Thailand aeris the most unforgettable night of their lives. Concerts are easier to deal with. Usually he and Jongin don't really interact, as they tend to stand far from each other, and focus on dancing with all their might. 

 

The first night goes better than planned. Sehun makes sure he shares his love with each one of his members, touching Baekhyun's butt, dancing with Kyungsoo, serenading Jongdae, posing for selfies with Junmyeon, chasing Chanyeol, hugging Minseok from behind. The concert is a complete success.

 

On the second night, It starts out well and fun like the night before, until it's time for their ments. 

 

Sehun introduces himself as shy maknae, pulling awws and uuhs from the audience. Unexpectedly, Jongin chimes in, with the biggest and brightest smile directed at Sehun. 

 

“Sehun-ah, ever since we were kids you used to introduce yourself like this. Shy maknae. Even as a kid you were so shy, I actually gave you this nickname, and you named me dancing machine, am I right?”

 

A little taken aback, Sehun takes a few seconds before nodding and blushing. He's not sure what it is going on exactly, but the audience screams and laughs. Jongin laughs too,mentions that he's jealous for not looking as cute as him in his introduction. Sehun just keeps smiling back, his heart racing and about to explode. 

 

It gives him more energy to go through the rest of the concert. That's about all the interaction they have for the night, but for Sehun is more than enough. There's still hope, one that he'll chase after this concert is over. There's not much time to do much, unless enjoy their performance. Sehun collects as many toys as he can, tries all of them, gives his best to impress his fans. Gives his best not to search for Jongin before the show is over. 

 

He's pretty satisfied with their performance once it's over, adrenaline is still running through his veins as all of them run backstage. There are happy screams and people all over the place, like it always is at the end of each long and hard working concert. His ears are still buzzing, but his heart buzzes more as he runs around chasing for Jongin, dodging people. He finds him further inside, away from most of the fuss, sitting on the floor. Eyes closed, sweat running down his skin, clothes clinging to his defined body.  He's as beautiful as ever. 

 

“Nini… Kai hyung…” 

 

It's awkward, but Sehun is far from giving up.

 

“Sehun. You did great tonight,” Jongin says without opening his eyes. 

 

It's cold, and Jongin is far from warming up.

 

“You did too. Like always. It surprised me when you mentioned me… my ment.. that was-”

 

“That was what I had to do. Too many of them have been noticing.” Jongin explains, and right now, he's still has his Kai aurea. Intimidating, sexy, sly. 

 

Sehun loves him in any way. Kai or Jongin. 

 

He just needs to tell him that. 

 

Standing in front to the dancer, Sehun boldly offers him his hand. He needs to have this conversation face to face.

 

Jongin doesn't even move. He just smirks.

 

“What? You’re expecting something else?”

 

“I'm expecting you to take my hand and hear me out.” Sehun says through clenched teeth. He might be chill and patient, but one can only take too much. He's about to snap.

 

The dancer finally stretches out his hand and grabs Sehun's. Just that simple touch sends electric shocks through their bodies. It's in a complete sudden move that Jongin pulls Sehun down abruptly into him. Sehun lands on his knees between Jongin's spread legs. He balances himself by placing his hands on Jongin's shoulders, reflectivity, Jongin wraps his arms around Sehun's thin waist.

 

They stare deeply into each other's eyes for a moment. They are sweaty, painting, high on adrenaline. It all feels too familiar, yet too foreign. 

 

“Fuck, Sehunnie… why do you do this to me?” Kai actually groans, lips ghosting over Sehun's cheeks, making him shiver.

 

“That… must be a joke. You're the one running from me, you're the one playing with me. I'm going crazy because of you.” Long fingers grasp at Jongin's hair and pull hard, his head falling back. Jongin is trapped, nothing to stare at besides the maknae's shining brown eyes. Jongin bites his lip, omiting a moan.

 

“Feels good, doesn't it?” Jongin teases.

 

“ I never meant to do that, asshole.”

 

Jongin closes his eyes again, taking a deep breath, swallowing the sobs that are about to burst out. In the end, he smirks once again. 

 

“You did anyway,” He mutters. 

 

“Okay. Do you want to do that?” Sehun challenges, the grip at Jongin's hair still hard and possessive. “It's game on. You don't want to talk to me anymore, I'll gladly do as you wish.”

 

He lets go then, staring down furiously at Jongin as he gets to his feet. They don't break eye contact for long seconds. None of them want to give in, both of them want to play. 

 

“Look for me when you're done with this bullshit.” Says Sehun, turning his back on the guy he loves so much he thinks he hates him now.

 

“I won't!” Jongin spits back, still on his position on the floor, chest rising and falling due to his heavy breathings. 

 

This time he's the one watching the other walking away. This time, he's the one who ends up crying. 

  
  
  


Later in the night, Sehun invites Junmyeon over to his room and they joke around on an ig live. He makes sure he looks well, soft and comfortable enough. Last time, he ended up worrying aeris  when he’d mentioned feeling empty and lonely. He then plays with filters and laughs with his aeris. It doesn't take longer than ten minutes, but it's enough to play along. He hopes next time Jongin goes online on his secret accounts, he sees the fans comments about how Seho has ended every other ship by cuddling shirtless on a bed. 

 

When they fly home, the coldness and the distance is so evident that even the other members declare that sekai is indeed, dead.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut is at the bottom part of the story, so it is optional to read, in case someone doesn't feel comfortable reading those :)
> 
> Also, this turned out to be too long, and the first part way too angsty. Although I needed it that way, I tried to ease things up this time.

Camera flashes snap all around them as soon as they step out of their van towards the gates of the airport. It's the same deal as ever. All eyes are on them, countless cameras pointing, a sea of people following their path. 

Chanyeol is walking a few steps ahead, as if he's the leader here. Not sparing a glance at each other, the maknaes lag behind.

Jongin is used to it all, he really doesn't mind the fuss. Especially when he's not so sleepy and tired. Okay, maybe he is about 80% sleepy right now, but that's not too much if it comes to him. Under the excruciating noises of the flashes, Jongin hears a couple of fangirls yelling about how they're expecting him to rest his head on Sehun's shoulder while they wait in line to take off. He curses under his breath, it's a pity but he'll disappoint those fans today. He does not need Sehun's shoulder. He's only 85% sleepy now. He's glad his face is hidden under his mask and hoodie. Those people don't need evidence on how annoyed and tired he looks. He's human, for God's sake. 

Sehun, apparently, is not. When he accidentally looks at the younger boy walking next to him, is when he's adjusting his mask and… His face is cuddly and clean and his nose looks cute above the mask. Jongin again curses to himself. This is going to be a very difficult day. 

“You two, sit here.” Chanyeol demands, his huge eyes look sternly and scary, but Jongin knows he's no threat. Quietly, he does as told and takes a sit next to Sehun, who's been incredibly quiet the entire morning. 

“Listen I'm not here to force you two to make up or give you deep advices on love or whatever the fuck it is between you too, the only thing I ask is let's work well today and show a friendly image. This is a huge event and they have a high expectation on us. Probably more on you two than me. Understand?” Chanyeol conveys, standing up and fiercely in front of them. 

Like the good church boy he is, Sehun is quick to nod, saying ‘yes hyung’, showing his most innocent smile. On the other hand Jongin just really wants to retort and ask who named Chanyeol their leader. But Jongin is also a good bear, so even if it's a little late, he nods too and agrees with his oldest and tallest hyung. 

“Hyung’s been asking me if things are good with you two, so if you need to punch each other after the event is done, do it while he's not around.” The hyung Chanyeol is referring to is their manager traveling with them. Since Jongin doesn't feel like getting scolded by anyone else that day, he will follow the orders and pretend he doesn't despise Sehun that much for the day. 

“I'm not going to punch him. It'll be too unfair, he's too small.” Sehun teases, a smirk painted on his face.

“I'm not small! Have you seen my arms?!” Offended, Jongin tries to show off his biceps, even under the thick fabric of his coat. “If you don't keep quiet I'm going to step on your ugly shoes!”

“My shoes are not ugly. They look better than your stupid bear outfit.”

“Don't talk about my bear outfit!”

“Jesus, that's enough!” Hisses Chanyeol. He takes the maknaes passports and plane tickets and hands them over their manager for final inspections. Eventually, Jongin and Sehun stop fuming at each other. It's been like this for the last week. Whenever they're not purposely avoiding each other, they are bickering. 

Jongin begs Chanyeol to sit with him, as Sehun begs their manager to stay by his side. In the end, they are granted their wishes, and to Jongin's satisfaction, he's going to have a few hours to relax and nap. He's about 95% sleepy now, and unlike some people, he needs to feel well rested before attending a fashion event in order to look decent enough. 

Chanyeol is not one for talking that particular day, it seems. He busies himself with music and writing notes, so it doesn't take too long before Jongin is deeply asleep. 

In his dream, he's stepping on Sehun's ugly shoes and ugly bags and all the ugly expensive gifts he keeps receiving from old men trying to impress him. 

A hard thump on his shoulder brings him back to reality, and he's surprised with Oh Sehun and all his glory sitting practically on top of him. 

“Ah, fuck is this?” Jongin shoves the broad boy aside, his senses still a little out of focus.

“Hyung how could you do this?” Blushing, Sehun tries to get up, but is once again mercilessly pushed down to the seat by Chanyeol. 

“Stay there. I'm taking your seat now” Utters Chanyeol, mindlessly taking Sehun's original seat next to their manager. Helplessly, Sehun can't make a scene and beg for his seat, so he slowly sits back, cheeks getting flushed by the second.

“Aish, for real, that hyung is so going to pay me.” He curses, getting into a comfortable position in his new seat.

“What is this? Did he tell you to go with him to the bathroom and then threw you on me like that when you got here?”

“Yes…” Sehun replies, defeatedly. 

“Did you really fall for that?” Jongin watches him, amazed by how naive the younger man can be sometimes. 

“He said he wasn't feeling well, ok? That lying hyung, aish…”

It's cute, Jongin thinks to himself, how Sehun always wants to take care of everyone around him, how he's always the first one to help others, how he always puts people first. Unfortunately, Jongin wasn't being one of those people recently. 

There's an awkward silence as they both don't know where to look or what to say, so Jongin opts for the easiest way out. 

“Just pretend I'm not here. I'll go back to sleep.” 

He tosses and turns, his body feels uncomfortable in the seat and his heart keeps racing for no apparent reason. It's Sehun's presence, his scent, invading Jongin's mind so ruthlessly, that makes him feel so uneasy. Incessant sounds of fingers typing on a screen keep Jongin wide awake, until he finally turns around to face Sehun. The taller boy is recklessly playing a game on his phone. Jongin shamelessly checks on it, and feels offended once again that day when he realizes what game his enemy is playing. 

“You're playing Mobile Legends without me?”

“Was I supposed to wait for you?” Sehun replies matter-of-factly, eyes never leaving the screen. 

“You can't--” He snatches the phone away from Sehun's hand, using his arm to block the others attacks while he goes through the configurations of the device. 

“What are you doing?!”

“I'm uninstalling it from your phone.”

“I'll just install it again later, dumbass.”

Insistently, Sehun tries to get his phone back from Jongin's hold. Their little wrestle ends up with his arms around the older’s waist, chin resting on his shoulder. Both boys freeze when the screen locker on the phone comes to view. It's a picture of Vivi and Monggu cuddling. Jongin's heart breaks from seeing such cuteness.

“Why do you have this?”

“It's a cute photo. And it's my phone.” Sehun's deep voice echoes inside Jongin's brain, and he suddenly remembers they are not supposed to be hugging like that. Shaking himself, he manages to get Sehun out of him and scoots away from the boy. 

“How's Vivi these days? Have you been seeing him?” Jongin asks, throwing the phone back on Sehun's lap.

“Yeah. He misses his hyung Monggu. He told me so.”

“Dogs can't talk, Sehun.”

“Vivi talks to me, though” Sehun remarks, his smile is so lovely, that Jongin stares a little too long “I told him Monggu and his brothers can't come anymore, since their father has turned to the dark side of the force.”

Jongin laughs. He can't help it. Sehun joins him soon after. 

“Ah seriously, this is hilarious. I'm definitely Luke Skywalker.” Jongin defends.

“As if” 

Once again, they laugh together and it all comes naturally. For that brief moment, it's all forgotten. All the misunderstanding, all the unspoken words. Realization hits Jongin with full force and his laughter dies abruptly. 

“Ya!! Hey. Stop talking to me, I want to sleep.”

Sehun shrugs, doesn't press on the matter, even when Jongin can read the disappointment all over his face so clearly. Sehun never presses, he always let others choose what's best for them. For weeks now Jongin's been trying to pull a move from him, and nothing. Jongin can wait, he will wait. For Sehun, he can be patient. 

This time, full with deep thoughts and too many expectations, Jongin does fall asleep. He doesn't really know if he's dreaming or not, but he keeps his eyes shut tightly as he feels Sehun's warmth embracing him.

Swimming in a pool of love and tranquility, he feels a kiss pressed on top of his head, and a broad chest as his pillow. Sehun's scent is everywhere now, and he drowns in it, he feels safe and content, never wanting to wake up from this dream.

“I miss you Nini,” He hears Sehun's voice distantly, fingers gently caressing the back of his neck. “I wish you knew how much I love you, I wish you'd keep me around” 

Involuntary, Jongin just nods, hums in agreement. “Stay with me,” he mumbles, hearing Sehun's last word before completely diving into slumber.

“I'll stay” 

 

“Aawww, told you they'd be cuddling” It's Chanyeol's deep voice that snap them awake. “Hyung you owe me 10 million won” The rapper shouts, laughing loud. 

Jongin jumps to his feet, head nearly bumping on the ceiling while Chanyeol is still laughing and tearing up. 

“I'm going back to my seat, we’re about to land, so buckle up.” 

Soon after, they land safely in Hong Kong, soon after being lead to a fancy hotel located at the venue that will be holding the event. In the meantime, Jongin doesn't look at Sehun, not because he's avoiding him. This time he just can't. His dream left him dazed and fragile, it felt too vivid, too raw. If he closes his eyes, he can easily feel the warmth and tender touches. Thanks to that, Jongin feels refreshed, revived. Sehun, this time shows signs of his deep sleep as well. 

It's all rushed from then on. They change outfits, do their makeup and hair, receive instructions on how to do and when to do them, where to follow. Lastly, they are handed several accessories to sign. There's a couple of hours until the event starts and they can already hear the fans screaming for them outside. 

“How about a picture for SNS to let them know you guys are all ready?” They are suggested and Chanyeol is the first to sprawl comfortably on the tiny couch.

“I'm ready. Come on guys, take a seat.” He's smart, he is sitting on the far corner of the couch so there's no other option for Jongin besides sitting right next to Sehun. He makes sure to put a huge gap between the two of them, and Sehun for that matter, takes the middle and clings to Chanyeol's side, no personal space found between them. Needless to say, they look effortlessly beautiful on the pictures, but Chanyeol still scowls and comments.

“We can fit the rest of EXO between the two of you, very funny.” 

“Get in the middle next time, hyung” Jongin suggests.

“No, this works by order of height, so I'm first. You're last. Sehunnie in the middle. It's all about the heights, small one.” 

“I'm tall too!” Jongin complains, trying to get free from Chanyeol's obnoxious grip around his waist. 

“I know, I know. By the way. Did you sleep well? Good dreams?” 

Elbowing the taller boy's ribs, this time he succeeds at getting rid of the giant. The blush on his cheeks, on the contrary, remains. 

 

Jongin knows one thing. Sehun is insanely beautiful. That's no news. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to it. The boy is wearing a simple jacket, jeans and a cap, including his ugly shoes. Still, his visuals look so strongly stunning that Jongin's heart feels like its about to burst. 

Upon having their names announced, the trio hop on stage, being received with screams, flashes and unconditional love. Jongin's still staring at Sehun, who's shining brighter than any light. 

Three chairs are arranged for them in the middle of the small stage, so they head towards them in their respective order. Discreetly, Jongin uses the first chance he gets to drag his chair a little farther away from Sehun's. He's aware he's being a brat, he truly is, but he can't help it now. It's like a challenge, and no one is more stubborn and persistent than Jongin in this world. 

Taking their seats, they don't introduce themselves as SKY as it doesn't seem to suit them at the moment. They go with Chankaihun.

A few random questions are asked, but Jongin is not really paying attention. He does respond when it's his turn, he does smile and wave at some fans, but his real focus is on how every single person in the room seems to be drooling over Sehun. Maybe it's just an impression, maybe not. Even so, everyone truly appreciate Sehun's existence. Some fans standing in the front row are blushing and sighing at him and Sehun isn't even doing anything other than sitting and breathing. It's incredible. One of the girls sobs a question to her friend that Jongin can't miss hearing. 'why are sekai sitting so far apart?’ and only then Jongin notices, he might not have been too discreet. 

Looking around, he spots colorful fan projects for Sehun's birthday, and all of a sudden, embarrassment hits him. Would it really be reasonable to keep this up even on Sehun's birthday? Or at all? He lets the question linger in his mind.

Sechan seem to interact well, trading glances and smiles, Chanyeol always reminding the younger one to give his thoughts on the questions. A slight gesture of affection between them, makes Jongin look away. Why does he feel like a criminal now? He thinks to himself, already knowing the answer. 

There are two teenage girls standing near the stage. Jongin notices them hiding sheepishly behind some fansites members. They are both small and too excited, but what really catches Jongin's eyes are their masks. One has a Vivi print on it, the other has Monggu. He also notices the girls are wearing both his and Sehun's shirt. They look adorable. 

“Look at those kids, they look so adorable!” He exclaims, body turning to the side, arm reaching out, looking for Sehun. Reaching nothing, he remembers they're sitting way too far from each other. And it just feels wrong. 

Sehun nods and searches for said kids in the crowd. Raising his eyebrows, he shares a glance with Jongin, as if agreeing with him. Jongin can't help his smile. 

“It's our puppies, did you see?” 

Sehun nods again, visibly trying to hold his smile, but it spreads out eventually. It makes Jongin's heart jump and race, but the moment is gone in a second when Sehun just looks away, whispering something to Chanyeol.

His heart now feels like is being ripped out of his chest and shoved back down his throat. God, he's starting to feel so guilty now. He still opts to keep his distance though. If he gets too close to Sehun now, he'll probably jump on him and hug the hell out of him. Girls representative of something Jongin couldn't quite get before, go up to pose next to them. All of them sizing Sehun up from head to toe, all of them competing to stand by his side, making Sehun just a tiny bit embarrassed and satisfied with his popularity. Even those older men who pose with them also take a good look at Sehun. Everyone is impressed with not only his looks, but also his manners. When he signs his designed hats and gifts them to some fans, they melt and smile widely as if they were just gifted the best presents of their lives. 

Does he really think Sehun will just be there and wait until whenever Jongin thinks it's tolerable for himself? This boy has this world wrapped around his finger, so Jongin probably won't be missed for too long.

After posing for a hundred other round of pictures, they are finally allowed to go. They said their goodbyes to the audience, bowing and thanking their time together, and then it's all rushed again. Jongin has to greet a lot of other people backstage, and he does it all with his best smile and charm. His eyes search for Sehun, just because he always needs to see him, know he's there. He isn't. 

They head to the same previous room as before, but Chanyeol comes by himself. Anxiety creeps into Jongin's chest. His eyes sweep the room, but he doesn't ask. 

“I sent him outside for a while. He needed his charger and a little fresh air” Chanyeol informs anyway, and Jongin can finally breathe again. 

Chanyeol's judging eyes quietly burn the back of his head as Jongin just sits there, questioning his attitudes, his decisions. He doesn't know exactly what made him open his eyes to reality, but he sees it now and he feels terrible.

“I get bored just from watching this, you know?” Chanyeol says indignantly “I mean do you really think our Sehunnie deserves all of this crap? The boy’s been suffering, and he's been through so much already. Cut the crap and apologize to each other. This is getting ridiculous already.”

Jongin is shocked by the words from his hyung. He tries to form words to speak, but his mind demands him to keep quiet and take it all. It's what he deserves in the end. 

“Do you really think Oh Sehun wouldn't give his all if you asked? He's not the type to play around about these things, for God's sake, he has so much love to give. Listen, I really like that kid, you better do him right.” He adds to his lecture, dropping to the seat across from Jongin, who's still speechless. 

“Hyung. I feel so bad. Really” He cries out, head falling onto the table.

“I hate to scold you like this, I like you a lot too, you know that, right? But, boy you're so dumb sometimes.”

“I guess I am…” 

Jongin's agreement is inevitable. Chanyeol might not understand their situation detailedly, but he's right for most parts. Sehun is unique and special, even if he doesn't accept Jongin the way he wishes, he needs to at least keep him as his best friend because Jongin will never be able to replace him.

The door opens cautiously, Sehun poking his head inside as he shows his characteristic grin. “Hey, sorry. Took me a while to find my power bank. They're calling for us out there. I think they're offering a meal before we leave.” 

“Really? Come on, I'm starving!” Chanyeol is out the door in a second. Jongin and Sehun follow silently, the latter absentmindedly fiddling with his phone and power bank. 

On their way they are quickly requested for a couple of more pictures, so they pose gladly and politely. This time Jongin lets himself stand a little closer, feels the urge to wraps his arm around the younger's waist and rest his head on his shoulder, but endures it well. For the last picture, he mindlessly pulls Sehun closer, accommodating himself against his broad chest. Sehun keeps quiet, blushing a little when Jongin steps away.

“I do look small in this one.” Jongin says, this time not showing signs of offense. It makes Sehun giggle a little.

 

“They offered a VIP room at the hotel with a full meal. You two go ahead, there's this really cool restaurant I was recommended, so me and hyung are going to eat there.” Chanyeol words come fast like a hurricane as he shoves the key card of the VIP room into Jongin's hand. 

“Wait, what? Hyung, let me come too!” Sehun begs, ears a little redder than usual, dreading the possibility of staying alone with Jongin in a room. 

“Ah, sorry but they don't allow kids at that restaurant.” That's the lame excuse Chanyeol gives at that moment, he even can't believe himself and his creativity.

“That makes no sense, dude.” Jongin utters “Why do you act like you're so much older? Did you forget I'm an early born?”

“That doesn't count here, it's not Korea.” Retorts the rapper. “ Anyways, we only have a few hours until we have to fly back, so eat quickly.” He winks, smirking as he turns and jogs away. 

That's actually the opportunity Jongin needed to confront Sehun. Although it's a little unexpected, Jongin will take it. He can do this. Sehun deserves as much. 

“It's okay, I can go find some other place to eat. By myself.” The younger pouts, head hanging down.

“Nah, come with me. I actually want to talk to you, if that's okay?”

“Okay.”

It is a short walk to the hotel, all they have to do is cover their faces and follow a huge security guard, and as soon as they reach the hall of the hotel, they are given privacy. The ride on the elevator is silent and a little tense. Jongin can't wait to make this awkwardness go away. 

Actually, he has no idea of what to say. There's is no precise plan unless falling to his knees and beg for forgiveness. There's a part of him disappointed for giving in like this, but the other part, the wise one, is yelling to just do it once and for all. He needs to do better for Sehun, is what he deserves. Only the best. 

The key card is relentlessly being fiddled around his hands as he walks a few steps ahead in the corridor. After reaching the door and pushing it open, he doesn't quite registers what happens next.

His back is against the door and Sehun is all over his personal space, hooded eyes staring him down. He kisses him with full force, and Jongin gasps before letting his arms drop and just takes everything Sehun has to give. 

It's a deep kiss, full of emotions and meanings. Their mouths just fit perfectly, and their tongues meet halfway, desperate for each other's taste. Sehun cups Jongin's face with both hands and presses him harder against the door. They kiss until they're breathless, until Jongin has to balance himself on Sehun's biceps not to fall on his knees. This wasn't how he planned falling to his knees at all. 

Sehun breaks the kiss apart, moves too many steps behind, and breathes hard to get his senses back. Jongin is a total mess, his lips are tingling, as others parts of his body, and he can't speak, can't think. At last, he realizes they've at least made it inside the room. It would cause a huge problem if they were shamelessly making out in the corridor.

“I'm sorry,” Sehun's voice is cracked, tears are gathering at the corners of his eyes “I know what you are going to say, I just… wanted to do it one last time. I needed to. I'm so sorry.” 

With his legs still threatening to give in, Jongin takes a long deep breath. He slowly moves closer to Sehun. He needs to be careful and coherent, this might be the only chance he'll get to redeem himself.

“What do you think I'm going to say?”

“I don't know. Dump me? Kick me out of your life?” Tears are running down his beautiful face, Jongin wants to wipe them away. They don't belong there.

“How can I do that? We live together, we work together. I've known you since forever” He's standing close now, cautiously reaching out. “Ever since you were the smaller one. You were so small back then, remember?” Attempting a smile, Jongin feels like he's finally broken all the walls around them, those walls that had been built over the past weeks, tearing them apart. 

“I'm a man now, I can take it. Just tell me you want me gone, go ahead.” Sehun shouts, fists clenched.

“Just come here,” Spreading his arms at the younger one, Jongin offers what he thinks Sehun needs the most from him right now. Comfort. 

Sehun launches himself into Jongin, arms reaching around his waist, pulling him close. Jongin catches him, wrapping his arms around Sehun's shoulders, fingers gripping gently at his hair. They get lost in each other's embrace, both sobbing and squeezing each other. Sehun is warm, he's broad, enveloping Jongin's whole being in himself. He doesn't ever want to let him go again. Never again. The tears soaking Jongin's shirt fall heavily. 

“I'm sorry. Sehun-ah. I'm so sorry. That's what I want to say. I'm sorry for being such a stubborn asshole to you. I don't want to keep it like this anymore, I want us back.”

Jongin finally manages to let out, not regretting one word. His heart and mind feel at ease, feel light. His relief just makes him shed more and more tears. 

“Oh my God, are you for real?” Sehun asks, uncertainty and insecurity evident in his voice.

Jongin detaches himself from the taller boy, looks into his eyes to show his sincerity. One that he knows only Sehun can read, only him can understand. But it's still not enough. He has more to explain, he wants to come completely clean. Taking Sehun's hand, he leads him further into the spaceous room and they both take a seat on the edge of the bed. 

For the first time he takes in his surroundings, noticing how cozy and sophisticated the large room is. Jongin is not impressed by such wealth anymore, he never was. The only thing that matters now is the boy in front of him, with hope in his eyes and sweetness in his smile.

“I just miss you so much. I can't keep denying this. Yeah I was really hurt when you kissed me that night, I guess I was just expecting too much from you, but I don't mind it now. Be my best friend again, I just need that.” 

His words make more tears emerge from Sehun's tiny eyes but he's smiling now, he's breathing evenly. He's holding Jongin's hand and little does he know, but he's holding his heart too.

“I didn't know what to do about my feelings and then I was just too embarrassed to face you. I'm sorry I dragged this out and let it get to this.” Jongin adds, using the back of his hand to wipe out the wetness on his boy's cheeks. Sehun leans into the touch, and does the same to Jongin too.

“It's okay, hyung. It's fine.” He cuts in, shyly. The honorific makes Jongin's inside melt. It's used rarely, but Jongin loves hearing it. 

“I miss you too. And I feel sorry too, I've made mistakes too. I shouldn't have kissed you without your consent. You were expecting some reaction from me, but I just suck at this, I can't use words. I shouldn't have played with your feelings like that. I promise I'll never kiss you again. A”

Sehun confesses and once again, they hug. There are only happy tears now, relieved touches. 

“It's okay, we're okay now. I just… “ Jongin trails off, biting his lip. “I actually want you to kiss me again. Not just now, but whenever, any time.” 

“Really?” 

Both boys blush, their eyes timidly chasing one another's. 

“Yeah, I mean. We don't need to label anything here, we don't need to justify it to anyone. It can be just you and me. Until when we decide to find something else. What do you think?”

In case of rejection, Jongin will be fine. He'll accept whatever Sehun has to give him. He's completely in love with Sehun, but it doesn't mean he won't at least try. Sehun doesn't take long considering it.

“We can just be there for each other when we need.” He affirms, showing that he's following Jongin's mind, he's down with it.

“Yes. Exactly.” He exclaims, fully aware that he must look like an idiot child who just got handed his most precious present. He doesn't care, because Sehun is his precious present. “Now, please. Just kiss me again.”

Enveloping an arm around Jongin's middle, Sehun pulls him in, his other hand cupping Jongin's jaw and bringing their mouths dangerously close. Teasing, Sehun places a chaste kiss on the corner of Jongin's lips, on his cheek, reaching his ear. The older boy is getting higher and higher on Sehun's touches, his body already corresponding to the intimacy. Sehun keeps teasing by biting his earlobe, sucking gently. Jongin shivers.

“We don't have much time, remember?” He whispers, soon being pushed onto the bed. Sehun is quick to climb on him, straddling Jongin's waist. There's not enough time to do all they miss doing, not enough time for Jongin to beg and submit himself like he's been dying to do, so he just grabs Sehun's by the shirt, pulling him down to attack his lips. 

There's no resentment this time, no sorrow, no fear. Only passion and happiness and the knowledge that they belong to each other now. 

For a little while they make out, giggling into the kisses, groping each other's parts of their bodies they had missed the most. Until room service arrives at their door. They spend the rest of the time they have for just the two of them cuddling and stuffing their faces with delicious food, taking that time to catch up on various subjects. They kiss, they laugh, they feed each other. It's like nothing had ever changed.

A message buzzes on their phones, letting them know they'll have to be ready to leave in a matter of minutes. Still distracted with each other's mouths, they have to hurry in the end, grabbing their stuff and making the checkout with barely ten minutes left to meet the others.

“Oh yeah, Nini,” Sehun tells him while on their way to the parking lot “Can we play on the phone while we fly home? I have more power banks I can lend you.”

“Okay. I'm gonna beat you.” 

“You always lose, admit it.”

Jongin doesn't admit it. He doesn't mind losing to Sehun, because he knows that just by being by his side, he is always winning.

 

Back at the airport, Chanyeol says nothing more than a relieved 'finally’ and lets the maknaes be, just a quick glance at them walking shoulder by shoulder and he knew. The sekai drought had come to an end. 

There's a lot of “oohs” and “wows” as they make their way ahead, camera flashes snapping more violently now. Fans around them screech and gasp when they notice Sehun's hand gently pressed against Jongin's back, guiding him to the front. Jongin smirks, proud that he's making his aeris satisfied now.

They fish their phones and get lost in their game, not even paying attention to their surroundings, ignoring the flashes and screams. Sehun scores a lot more than Jongin, but the older boy is persistent, keeps asking for a rematch. Sehun doesn't decline, loves to beat him over and over. 

The game is still on while they go down the escalator, both boys completely emerged on their play. More screams erupt around them when Jongin simply places his hand on Sehun's shoulder, pulling him closer. It's a pity that no one sees how wide Jongin's smile is under the mask.

Jongin's still trying to score at least a little more points when he notices Sehun distractedly smiling down his cellphone. 

“What's so funny? What are you so smug about?” Jongin inquires, moving closer, taking a peek over his friend's shoulder. 

“I'm checking Instagram. Aeris are so fast.”

“What are they saying now? Is everything okay with our babies?”

Sehun points him the screen, showing a Sekai account with a picture of the two of them from maybe 2 minutes ago.

@oursekai  
Their happiness is my happiness. No matter what, sekai will always be superior and I'm so glad they are okay ♥

Unreasonably embarrassed, Jongin hides his blushing face behind the back of Sehun's neck, and more screech comes out. Jongin screeches a little too.

More sekai accounts are noticed by the two of them, checking the amount of relieved comments and excessive use of caps lock. Jongin can translate most of the English ones. In the end, they have to run together not to miss their flight. They make it in time, the cameras following them until they disappear behind the boarding gate. 

 

It's just like in his dream. Jongin rests his head against Sehun's chest, inhaling his sweet scent, listening to his heartbeat. He's warm, and broad and soft. The maknae plays with his hair absentmindedly, humming lightly with his lips pressed against Jongin's temple. They're holding hands now, the plane is quiet, the lights are dim. Jongin's about to fall asleep. 

“This isn't a dream, is it?” He mutters, eyes falling shut. In response, Sehun pulls at his hair hardly, Jongin's head lolling back. 

“Ouch, alright. Not a dream.” He grumbles, hiding his face into Sehun's chest.

“There's something I'm curious about,” Sehun indulges, quietly “what made you change your mind? What made you want to apologize?”

Jongin is silent for a good 5 seconds, still trying to figure out what exactly was the last straw to make him come to his senses and decide to apologize. He wasn't entirely sure until then, so his explanation works for the two of them.

“I was just watching you. How much you are loved. I mean, there's still some unfair negativity out there, but mostly you receive a lot of love from many people. I think, more than the rest of us. And you deserve it all. You shine so bright, and yet you're still so humble. I guess I just realized that even if I wasn't there for you, you'd still be loved by everyone, so it wouldn't make a difference for you, having me around or not. I'd be the only one losing.” 

Sehun nods, listening attentively, his fingertips never ceasing to stroke his scalp.

“You're right, I'm really lovely.” He says eventually, amused. “But you're wrong about one thing. Having you in my life matters the most for me. No matter how many people claim to love me, I'd be thankful to them, but none of them would come close to what you mean to me. Understand?”

Jongin stares shockedly, jaw dropped. There's something similar to an EXO concert taking place inside his stomach, making him feel excited, unbearably adrenalized. 

“Damn, I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Later, let's do it later.” 

It's a promise. 

This time when Jongin dreams, they're making sweet love, Sehun whispers in his ear he's in love with him as he fucks him tenderly. Jongin moans in response, and everything feels right again. 

 

 

Silky sheets and the large soft mattress make Jongin feel like he's lying on a cloud, right in the middle of paradise. Sehun is trailing kisses on his neck and jaw, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Jongin is a giggling mess.

Those kisses travel down to his collarbones, to his chest, Sehun takes his time worshipping every inch of the older's body. He licks at one nipple, and Jongin arches his back, letting a moan escape from his lips. The tongue works on his nipple carefully. He circles his tongue around the bud, sucking and biting, leaving Jongin's nipple red and perky. 

Sehun drags his tongue incredibly slow to his other nipple and repeats his acts, eyes stuck on Jongin's face the entire time. Jongin is painting, shivering. His body is already completely on fire. 

His defined abs are Sehun's next target. His tongue tracing every muscle, teeth grazing against golden, sweat skin.

“Hmm, you know I love your body, right?” Sehun teases, licking languidly over Jongin's belly button. “I missed it so much.”

“It's all yours, use me,” Jongin closes his eyes, allowing himself to feel the moment, to feel the love. He's ready to submit, to be taken in a way only Sehun can match.

Pulling down his sweatpants, Sehun watches Jongin's cock jolting free. He's already fully hard and leaking. All due to Sehun's teasing. And he was only starting. 

He runs his calloused palms over Jongin's firm thighs, squeezing the muscles, pushes them apart to make room for himself between spread legs. 

“I like your thighs the most.” Sehun says, scratching the flash to leave marks. Jongin hisses. The inside of his thighs then receive wet, open mouthed kisses, combined with long licks, reaching very closely to his groin. Soon after, Sehun licks and sucks that area as well, leaving Jongin's skin wet and hot. 

Sehun's hand wraps around Jongin's length, thumb swiping at the wet head, making Jongin stifle a moan. He sits up on his elbows to watch, anticipating the heat of Sehun's thin lips around his cock. The boy still wants to tease a little more, so he palms him, stroking up and down ever so slightly. Sehun finally leans down, his thumbs rubbing his hips, mouth sucking wet bites along his length. Jongin's hips snaps back for a split second. Then he relaxes, his hand clenching in the sheets. Sweet lips suck on the head of his cock. He smiles, falling on his back again to spread his legs further. 

Sehun's mouth opens wider and more of his cock slides into his impossibly hot mouth. Sucking him a few times, his cock pops out of shining lips, hand alternating between jerking him and sucking him. Low, throaty moans are pulled out of Jongin. Swallowing him whole, Sehun bobs his head hard and faster. Jongin's abs are clenching, head falling from one side to the other as he lets himself be used. Then Sehun gently drags his bottom teeth along the bump under his cock. Jongin moans loudly.

Pulling back, Sehun watches Jongin's reactions, hand still jerking. Jongin has his eyes closed, expression dazed and relaxed, lips parted as he moans lowly. “Don't stop, please” He begs, not expecting what Sehun does next. 

He manhandles him around, making Jongin turn abruptly, landing on his stomach. Sehun presses him down against the mattress. A hand trails down his back, nails scratching again, making Jongin arch his back into the touch. Sehuns palms grab Jongin's cheeks, kneads them possessively, and Jongin knows what's about to come, feels dizzy and impatient for it.

“Do you still like that? Want me to give it to you?” Voice deep from lust, Sehun's hands spreads his legs even wider, landing a slap on his left cheek. 

“Yes, please” Jongin begs, pushing his face into the pillows, ass up towards Sehun's face. His body squirms as he feels Sehun's hot breath ghosting over his hole.

The next thing he feels is Sehun’s hands spreading apart his cheeks, and then his tongue giving a tentative lick over his hole. fitting his lips around it, he sucks gently, drawing an actual whimper from him as his entire body shakes, the pleasure so overwhelming. The tip of his tongue circle around Jongin's hole once again, slowly. Jongin lets out a soft noise of pleasure, pushing his body toward Sehun's mouth.

Eventually, Sehun slips his tongue inside him, fucking in and out with it, prompting small whimpers of pleasure from him. His hand travels back around to knot itself in Sehun's, pulling slightly, needing something to hold onto, something to ground him since he can't touch his cock, currently trapped against the mattress.

“Yes, just like that,” Jongin groans, his legs spreading of their own accord. “Please,”

Sehun keeps sucking around the entrance, feeling his muscles contract around his tongue. He kisses his hole one last time before moving his mouth to his balls. 

Jongin's eyes roll to the back of his head as he moans Sehun's name desperately. As the younger licks around his balls, he drops another slap against Jongin's cheek. This time he screams. Feeling immensely drugged on the sensations, he again gets caught out of guard when Sehun manhandles for the second time.

Jongin is lying on his back once again. He faintly registers Sehun moving around, rummaging through a ruffle bag left at the side of the bed. He's quick to uncap the lube, and soon after, Jongin feels a slick digit pressing against his hole. He's ready for the heavy pressure, but once again Sehun surprises him by swallowing his dick as he slides his finger inside. 

It's too much, Jongin feels like he's about to explode. His hands grasp at Sehun's hair, and he's pulling and begging him for more and more. Sehun is both sucking him off and fingering him fiercely, his finger curving and pressing hard. Soon, he adds another one, slightly scissoring them. The stretch burns his insides a little, the slight hint of pain brings his closer to the edge. He doesn't have enough time to warm Sehun, though. After a precise stab against his prostate, his orgasm hit him with full force and he shoots down Sehun's throat. 

Taken aback, Sehun pulls back and swallows it all, giving kitten licks to the head in order to catch everything. Some of it lands at the side of his face, running down his cheek. 

Still coming down his high, Jongin feels the fingers being extracted out of him. Three of them, although he has no idea when the third one was inserted. He whines, clenching on nothing, begging to be full. He needs more, he needs everything from Sehun. 

And It seems the boy has more to give him. Jongin watches as Sehun rolls down his sweatpants, teasingly takes off his shirt, revealing his toned body and smooth skin. His hair is falling on his eyes, his face is flushed, lips glossy and red. 

“You're so hot, Sehunnie” Jongin tells him, his shaky hand caressing his broad, sturdy chest. 

Sehun smirks, wiping the come off of his cheek. 

It's Jongin who grabs the lube now, sitting up in front of the boy kneeling for him. He squeezes a good amount onto his hands and rubs them against one another as he admires the huge cock awaiting for him. Sehun moans loudly when both hands wrap around his length and jerk him off senseless. His hips buckle up a bit, and he tries to thrust into the tight grip of Jongin's hands around him. He lets go then, amused with the grunt he receives from Sehun.

Lying back down, Jongin grips at the sheets again and spreads his legs, his worked out hole visible to Sehun. 

“Come on, fuck me now.” 

Not long after, Sehun is lining up against his entrance, slowly pressing in. Just his tip is already too much for Jongin to take, so he lets out a painful whine. Sehun is too big. 

“It's okay, I'm going to make it good for you, Nini,” Sehun assures him, before grabbing one leg and throwing it over his shoulder. He puts Jongin's other leg around his waist and presses closer, his cock sliding a few more inches in. 

“Touch yourself.” Sehun commands, and he does as instructed. It helps to ease the pain, making him hard again and although there's some pain from the stretch, Jongin quite likes it. Being stretched and used to please the one who loves with all his being. Eventually, Sehun bottoms out, leaving Jongin so full he forgets how to form words, and all his senses altogether. 

Eyes locked and bodies connected, Sehun allows Jongin to adjust as best as he can. Trying to calm his breathing just as much, he gives an experimental move, and Jongin cries out. 

“Oh my god, yes. I'm ready. Move, fuck me Sehun!” He begs and Sehun pulls out, making Jongin's tight hole squeeze around him. He pushes back in and it rips moans from both of them, sounds mixing with each other in the air.

As he moves inside him, Sehun keeps shifting the angle slightly with each thrust, looking for Jongin's spot. When Jongin lets out a louder cry of his name and throws his head back with closed eyes, Sehun picks up his speed, slamming into Jongin repeatedly as he chases his own orgasm, making sure to hit the prostate with each stroke. They’re both muttering, moaning, gasping, both boys reaching close to their edge as their skin slap against each other's.

Sehun folds his long torso over Jongin's body, and the angle changes. Sehun's size is perfectly accommodated now inside Jongin's walls, and he keeps moaning, hands uncontrollably reaching for nothing.

“Yes, right there. Right there. I'm close ahh-”

With a cry, he starts coming for the second time, spurting white come onto his own chest. As he comes, he squeezes his hole tighter around Sehun by instinct, and that makes the younger boy come only seconds after him. 

Staying inside, Sehun falls on top of Jongin, the latter enveloping him in a tight hug. They stay like that for a moment, catching their breaths.

“That was amazing, babe. You did great” Jongin murmurs, eyes falling shut as his breathing evens out.

“Thanks. Couldn't have done without you.”  
Sehun replies, carefully pulling out of Jongin with a hiss. They remain in each other's arms, not talking, not thinking. They're in their own little world, where everything is perfectly suitable for them. 

“We should shower” Sehun suggests after a while of shared silence. Jongin only hums, as though he's still fast asleep. 

“I know,” He responds eventually, throwing an arm around Sehun's middle, purring against the boy’s chest.They are sweaty and sticky, Sehun's come is leaking out of him. It couldn't be more perfect.

“Then I should go back to my room…”

“Just stay with me, ok?” Jongin says, knowing that Sehun is probably just looking for permission, to make sure they there's no other misunderstandings in the future. He feels the boy relaxing under him, hugging him back, before deciding. 

“Ok. I'll stay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading :)


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